Proof that my children are the cutest kids around!





As I was working on the computer one morning, Chloe and Nate came running into the office, in a panic.

"Mommy! Mommy!" they exclaimed, "There's a lizard in the kitchen!"

"No, there isn't." The all knowing mother said patiently.

"Yes, there is! He's caught in a spiderweb, and he's got an owie, and we have to help him."

"There is no lizard in the kitchen. How would it have gotten in?"

"Mommy, the spider is going to -eat- the lizard!"

They were obviously very upset about this, so I decided to humor them "OK, show me the lizard." I said, and followed them into the kitchen, muttering about how a lizard could not have gotten into the house.

"See mommy, he's right _there_." Chloe said, pointing into a corner under a cabinet.

Sure enough, there was a very young, very small lizard with a paw caught in a spider web... I took him outside and put him in some shrubs (hopefully safe from the cats), and vowed to believe them the next time they told me something that outlandish.



The children had been playing with some beaded necklaces I had made years ago, made from big (pea-sized) acrylic beads. Of course, the kids broke the necklaces. This was almost expected.

After the second necklace broke, I asked the kids to pick up the beads and bring them to me. Shortly after this, Nate came to me, very upset. "Mommy, I have a bead in my nose!"

There was no visible bead, and those beads were too big to go very far up a toddler's nose, so of course I said, "You do not have a bead up your nose." But, remembering the lizard, I got a flashlight and shined it up his nose. Imagine my surprise to see the light reflected back at me!

Not knowing what else to do, I plugged his other nostril and told him to blow, hard. Sure enough, the bead came out like a rocket, much to Nate's delight, and I sent him back to pick up the rest of the beads, giving them both a lecture about not putting beads (or anything else) in one's nose.

A few minutes later, I went to check on the progress of the clean-up. Only to find that BOTH children had beads in their noses.....

Since then, I have done all bead clean-up in the house.



One morning, the kids decided they had to have pickles for breakfast. Nate announced his had to "Have a pickle hanger on it."

So I gave him the last pickle with a stem still attached :>

(Grandma & Grandpa Van Doorn, betcha never thought giving Chloe pickles that one time would lead to this!)



While we were cuddling Nathan announced: "Mommy, you can't see me, 'cause I'm invisible." (Yes, he pronounced it right!).



The kids were watching TV, and suddenly Chloe came running to me shouting "Mommy, mommy! I want a Woody!"
Nate was hot on her heels saying "Chloe, you can't! Woodys are for boys!"

My mind must've been in the gutter, 'cause it took me a minute to realize they were talking about the Toy Story Sherrif Woody dolls....


My morning cuddle with Nate was interupted by the low moan of a very irritated, possibly wounded cat. Assuming one of our four cats was injured, I lept up and ran outside to see what was wrong. I found one of our cats staring down a visiting cat - the moan was of irritation, apparently. Well, Nate was hot on my heels through this, and upon seeing the "new" cat, was thrilled that we have a new cat now. I carefully explained that that was someone else's cat, and that we don't need another cat.

So, a little while later, I was looking at a website a friend had sent me (Cats are From Mars), Nate saw a cat that looked similar to the visitor in our yard, and announced "Look, mommy! It's our new cat that we don't need!"


In the car, after four pieces of candy, Chloe (very very wired from the sugar, if you didn't guess) was sitting in her car seat saying "Boingy boingy boingy..."
I laughed, and said, "Chloe, you are the epitome of boingy!"
She of course responded with, "Mommy, you are the pit o me of boingy!"
After a brief - and ineffectual - attempt at correcting her pronunciation, I decided to explain what epitome means. "Chloe, when you say that someone is the epitome of something it means they are the best, or the very most, of that thing. Like, if I said 'Chloe is the epitome of cuteness,' it means that Chloe is the cutest thing ever and anything else that you might call cute is but a pale reflection of Chloe's glory." She responded with only one word:
"Duh"



Proof that the kids are computer geeks (not that there was ever really any question!) We were heading out to run some errands, and I let the kids play with a friend while I got my things organized, then I drove down to the friend's house to pick up Chloe & Nate. As we drove off, both kids were yelling out the window, "Bye Casey! See you in ICQ!"



After a recent trip to the Grand Canyon with my parents, Nathan told me what he saw: "I saw the Grand Canyon mommy, but they wouldn't let me go down in the hole [the canyon itself, I assume]. There were strange animals down there, bad chipmunks, and bad squirrels, and lions, and tigers, and cheetos [sic]."



Nathaniel's latest and greatest...
He is the proud owner of Superman Underoos (just like many boys his age, I imagine), which he usually treats as pyjamas. So one night, he puts on these underoos, and goes to show them off to Daddy:
D: "Hi Superman."
N:"Hi Daddy. I'm not really Superman, you know, I just have his suit."
D:"Oh, well, you sure look like Superman, are you sure you aren't him?"
N:"Yeah, Daddy, I am. Superman doesn't have one of THESE!" (he declares triumphantly, pulling down his shorts to display his... well, you know...)